Festive Fun
by glittercrumbs321
Summary: Sirius gets Lily a little drunk over Christmas, and chaos ensues...


'You prick Sirius Black, you told me everyone had gone home for Christmas!'

'It's not my fault Evans! I thought he had' he spat back. Sirius was scrambling around the room in a blind panic fumbling in his trunk for a clean pair of jeans. Lily was still in a state of shock, sat on the edge of a bed, her head in her hands, her long red hair cascading around her bare shoulders.

'Don't just sit there Evans, do something! Put some clothes on!'

'Do you have any idea what this would mean for me if it got out Black? Em would never talk to me again!'

'Em?' Sirius was momentarily distracted. 'Emeline Vance? Does she fancy me?'

Lily's head snapped up and she sent him a glare worthy of his mother.

'Leave it you big headed git or I swear to merlin I'll hex you until-'

'Alright alright now hurry up and get dressed. We've got to stop him before he ruins both our lives' Sirius hissed hastily. Lily groaned and massaged her temples

'It was your fault if you hadn't kept giving me those fire whiskeys…'

'Yes yes we'll assign blame later just hurry up for merlin's sake'

Sirius turned back to his trunk rolling his eyes 'women' he muttered

'I heard that Black'

Lily was now on her hands and knees crawling along the floor in search of the bra she had discarded the previous night. She eventually found it under the bed next to a stash of playwizard magazines. She shuddered. How could she have… with someone so... _I have got to bathe in disinfectant__._

'Prongs is going to absolutely flip! He'll hate me' Sirius was now moaning into a pillow his eyes wide and distressed.

'My best friend, Evans you've lost me my best friend!'

'How have I lost you your best friend? You've lost your best friend, you ignorant prick don't go blaming me' she proceeded to stalk around the dormitory in only her knickers, looking for the skirt she had been wearing the previous evening.

'It was all your fault' Sirius roared and lily jumped, her eyes flickering slightly at the desperation in his voice.

'You shouldn't have worn those clothes! You shouldn't have looked like that' his voice broke slightly and lily wasn't sure if it was the pain of losing prongs or the memory of the night.

'So now it's my fault you're a horny bastard?' She scowled at him, tugging on the clothes she had finally located.

'No you started the whole thing!'

'I did not!'

'Did too!' Sirius was aware he sounded like a spoilt child but he was beyond the point of caring 'first day of the holidays you came and said' looks like were the ones left Black, better make the best of it' He imitated her, his voice high and whiny.

I meant we should hang out otherwise we'd be alone! I didn't mean get me drunk and shag me' lily screamed back.

'Will you stop screaming at me, you useless witch and get a move on!' Sirius screamed wiping his mouth with the back of his hand having sprayed spit as he yelled.

Lily's chest was heaving and she dove towards the bedside table where her wand lay. Sirius eyes widened and he let out a high pitched screech and dived for cover.

'Stupefy! Stand up you bloody coward and fight me like a man!' Lily screamed her green eyes flashing. Sirius whimpered. Even though she was only wearing a bra and her skirt she was a pretty scary opponent. And his wand lay five feet away.

Thankfully there was a knock at the door and the two froze and looked around. The tiny first year cowering in the door way took in Sirius quivering behind the bed and Lily, shirtless, arm raised ready to curse as soon as he came into range.

'i-uh-i-I the boy downstairs said to tell you t-t-to step into his office when you've finished up your' he paused and looked down at the slip of parchment he held in his shaking hands 'oh finished your disgusting scene that the whole school can hear.' He finished and glanced at the pair. Lily came to her senses and quickly folded her arms over her chest.

'Oh thank you um…' she stopped. _How do you explain this to a kid?_

'We were playing duels, and I accidentally burnt lily's top!' Sirius finished triumphantly.

The boy looked at them eyebrows raised

'I'm elven, not stupid' he nodded at lily. 'You're wearing the same clothes you wore last night and everyone can hear you yelling anyway'

Sirius gulped. 'Everyone?'

'Everyone in the tower!' the boy waved cheerily, and ran back down the stairs hoping against hope that the sexy but incredibly terrifying fifth year wasn't going to curse him.

'It's fine Black, there's only those three first years staying for Christmas aren't there? We can black mail then into keeping quiet' She grabbed a jumper off a nearby bed and wrinkled her nose at the smell. Still, it was better than nothing and if she remembered rightly her shirt had been ripped as they staggered up the spiral staircase. Not that she remembered much. Just flashes.

Eugh

'I have a serious hangover' she moaned as she pulled the jumper over her head.

He nodded thoughtfully.

'I am pretty awesome, I'm sorry through, I don't have a Lily hangover. Not yet anyway'

She huffed and began to stalk down the stairs.

'Evans wait up! We need a cover story!'

She rolled her eyes.' A cover story? He's not going believe anything you come up with, idiot'

'How about you were sleepwalking and-'

'And I took all my clothes off and crawled into bed with you?' lily finished sceptically.

'She's right Padfoot; I'm not going to believe anything you make up'

Remus Lupin was stood at the foot of the stairs, regarding them coolly.

'Shall we have a little chat ladies?

'And it will never happen again?'

'Never'

'Over my dead body'

'Just a drunken mistake?'

'Wouldn't have happened without the drink'

'Never drinking again if this is where it gets you'

'Well then. I'm sure it will be better for everyone if no one ever finds out about this, and prongs has a tendency to shoot the messenger so…'

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief.

'Moony mate you have no idea….I love you so much right now, you furry little-'

Don't push it Padfoot, and the' keeping it a secret' thing would probably work better if you weren't playing with lily's hair...'

They blushed and jumped away from each other, diving to opposite ends of the couch.

Really Remus… thanks' lily leant forwards and squeezed his hand gently. 'You have no idea how grateful I am'

Remus smiled at her_. Really its no wonder James has loved her since first year, now she's got two marauders whipped. Merlin help us if she falls for peter._

'It's fine lily. Now …there is only one more question.' He leant back and laced his fingers enjoying the power he had over them.

'How did it happen?'

'Aha!' Sirius' eyes widened in delight and he began in his famous 'how I laid another pretty witch' voice.

'It all began on the first day of the holidays. Evans here, seeing my good looks and knowing of my charm threw herself at me –'

'For merlin's sake shut up black!'

'But I declined, I said, nay fair damsel, let us remain friends for I cannot do such a thing even though you want it so very much-'

'We were the only fifth years left, the only Gryffindor's left aside from those puny little first years so it was natural that we should hang out'

'Natural indeed that you could not resist my intelligence, wit, sheer handsomeness and sexual prowess-'

'And we just hung out every day until Christmas day where we had the feast and then-'

'She became emboldened by the ale she had forsooth drunken and the harlot-'

'He dragged me to the kitchen and made the house elves make us chocolate cakes because he still wasn't full having eaten a whole turkey and a vat of roasted parsnips at the feast-'

'And I tried to stop her but the wench near on assaulted me! well I said I was having none of it and-'

'And then he asked one of them to fetch us some fire whiskey and as it was Christmas I had a little glass-'

'And she took her shirt off and what was I supposed to do then? You know I love it when they take their shirts off moony and I'm sure she poisoned me-'

'And he kept filling my glass up and we got very drunk and giggly and-'

'She was a dirty girl I'm telling you-'

'We ended up kissing in the charms corridor'

The two paused, reliving the moment as lily's back pressed against the wall, her skirt hitched up around her waist, her legs round Sirius as his hands gripped her thighs and his tongue slid into her mouth.

Remus watched them, amused, before prompting them to continue.

'And as I said before dear moony, she poisoned me and when we got to the common room she said-'

'I said I wasn't sure about this and he said, and I quote: come on Lily, no one will know, they're all away! It isn't a big deal, it's just two friends having fun, now come on, give me my Christmas present'

'End quote' Sirius jumped in proudly. 'Was that a line or was that a line moony?'

'It was Padfoot, a very good line. A very good line you used on your best friends one true love.'

Lily groaned and hid her face at the mention of 'one true love', and Sirius had the grace to look ashamed.

'I'm just kidding guys, we all slip up occasionally'

'So do you want to hear about our wild night of passion and lily getting down on her knees and-'

'Sirius Black shut your mouth for merlin's sake, you arrogant little toe rag!'

Lily screamed, her face burning

'Alright lily calm down! It was just a joke!'

'Maybe we should skip that bit, ok Padfoot?' Remus stretched out a hand as lily made to dive for her wand again but she was already calm, blowing tendrils of hair off her face, her eyes closed as she counted to ten to control her rage.

'I think we should leave this here and never mention it again' Sirius said, eyeing lily warily.

'I do too Padfoot, but I have one teeny tiny question for lily'

'What is it Remus?' Lily still had her eyes closed but her breathing was returning to normal.

'Why are you wearing James' sweater?'


End file.
